Push

by Remote Impact

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1.
This Is How You'll Know 05:48
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I can send the message a hundred times I might get a reply Once you said that you would If only we had more time This is why, blinded by distance You close your eyes This is how I am forgotten in this darkness This is when missing you is like nothing I’ve ever known Missing you is like nothing I’ve ever known I could be silent I could vanish next to you This is how you’ll know how much I love you I can send the message a hundred times But time can’t be space No matter how hard I try You still feel too far away I could be silent I could vanish next to you This is how you’ll know how much I love you I could be silent, I could be too late I could come empty handed No matter how hard I try, I don't matter Well it’s too late, well you’re too late Well it's too late to come empty handed
2.
Turn Around 04:52
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Go ahead, test my faith Push a little bit harder until I'm ready to give in How thin can I get How long will I last without you Turn around and touch me I don't care why or how Did you ever stop to think that maybe I need you now Try my patience once again Push me down deeper until hope gives way Where starving is reborn Where I will live without you Turn around and touch me I don't care why or how Did you ever stop to think that maybe I need you now Hope twists and turns around in circles Hope twists and turns around my neck Hope twists and turns around in circles Hope twists and turns around I hold on to keep us from falling through the black Too ravenous to notice there is no one here but me Go ahead, test my faith Push a little bit harder Touch me a little bit longer Hit me a little bit stronger Push me a little bit harder Turn around Push a little bit harder Turn around Push
3.
Wishing You Would 05:31
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How could I believe you Were anything other than A liar and a thief How could I believe If you are my anti-self It doesn’t matter It doesn’t matter how you lose me I suffer this entanglement Of charming ups and strange downs Wishing you would be my end How could I believe you Were anything other than A liar and a thief How could I believe How could I suffer this How could I believe you’d leave me If you are my anti-self It doesn’t matter It doesn’t matter when You annihilate me How could I believe A liar and a thief could annihilate me There’s no other way I’d want to go There’s no other way Wishing you would annihilate me I’m wishing you would There’s no other way I’d want to go Be my end I suffer this entanglement Of charming ups and strange downs Annihilate me, be my end
4.
To Be With You 03:48
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So what if you’re no one I want to show you what you mean to me If you’re going nowhere, I want to go there To be with you I built a bridge to nowhere I found you there I built a bridge to nowhere To be with you I built a bridge to nowhere You left me here I built a bridge of nothing, of nothing To be with you So what if you’re no one I want to show them what you've done to me If you’re going nowhere Go on and go then, on your own To be with you is to be alone You left me here to be alone To be with you
5.
Overtaken 03:47
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I learned from the way he lies I know there's something left inside I can't go I learned from the way he spies with eyes closed There's no vacancy He said so Oh how the mighty have fallen to the ground begging, "Don't let me be overtaken. I'm over-shaken. Won't you please let me be, let me be left alone, please..." Oh how the mighty have fallen I learned from the way he bites I know there's something left in me that won't go I learned from the way he fights without blows There's nothing I can do He said so Please Let me be overtaken, loved I want to be loved I've fallen, I'm coming undone How was I supposed to know he isn't you? Please
6.
Enigma 03:59
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7.
Pretty Sure 04:06
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I’m pretty sure, I’m pretty sure If you kissed me the galaxy would Crumble or implode I’m pretty sure, I’m pretty sure That by keeping your distance You are saving the world Saving the world, you are for me Saving the world for me I’m pretty sure I can do this for you I can do this for you every day I'm pretty sure I can do this for you Every time you provoke me Every time you fail to realize Every time you deny me Every time I call your bluff and I stay Pretty sure I can do this for you I would carry this love alone Pretty sure I can do this for you If you are saving the world, saving me I’m pretty sure I can do this for you I will carry this love on my own Pretty sure I can do this for you If you are saving the world Saving me, saving the world Every time you deny me I can do this for you Every time you deny me
8.
Haunting 04:48
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I am words enough for this song but I can say I am not well Yet I am well enough I cannot tell you why I cry anymore I cannot tell you why I am on fire I am here enough with this song that I can feel you are not well Yet you are well enough - I see you still I cannot tell if this is enough to set you on fire I still miss you Although I try not to think about you all the time And I still feel you haunting me so I know I am enough I just like to hear you say it Say my name, say it Say my name
9.
Crazy One 05:24
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When I hear God speak I know it's only me You are wondering why He doesn't say anything I look to the moon and pretend I'm landing soon You look to the stars as if they know who you are And I am the crazy one You can't help yourself Your hands are drawn to mine You are holding out for someone better you may never find Certainty is the warning Certainty is the warning I am wrong And I am the crazy one I know it's only me resisting entropy I know it's only me I know it's only you trying not to fall apart I know it's only you When I hear God speak He says "Don't you come apart, girl Not on me You know what you are"
10.
Broken Mirror 06:47
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It's time to set you down There's no way out of this Burning building except to jump Expect to fly I can't carry you and survive Maybe your silence will save me this time And it's not my place to question you When it's not my arms around you anymore It's not your light that guides me And you are not my home You are like a broken mirror You twisted my vision Made a believer out of me I joined your religion and worshiped you Now you're just another god Who was never there You were never there And it's not my place to question you When it's not my arms around you anymore It's not your lies that guide me And you are not my home You are gone All that's left in this broken mirror It's time to set you down There's no way out of this Burning building except to jump Expect to fly Maybe your silence will carry me home Maybe not, maybe not
11.
Hello Spacetime 03:20
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Hello Spacetime Before you blow it all away send me a warning Give me a call so I can say goodbye Goodbye Spacetime- nice to know ya Goodbye Spacetime- sorry it's over Goodbye Spacetime- farewell Love Hello Empty How's it going? I'm not all right Ever since you swallowed me all we ever do is fight Goodbye Empty- I'm overflowing Goodbye Empty- I don't belong here Goodbye Empty- let me go Hello Nothing Can you tell me which way to go? Where is God? Have you seen him? If he shows will you tell him I'm not coming back Goodbye Nothing- thanks a million Goodbye Nothing- I won't forget Goodbye Nothing- I owe you Hello Spacetime If you hear me, here I am Won't you please take me with you I was meant for you Hello Spacetime, look around Yeah, it's me again, come to talk you down Tell me, have you ever been in love?

about

It is significant that this album was released on February 7th, because that is the date I permanently broke off all contact with my worst abuser. Every year I celebrate this day as the anniversary of my freedom from abuse. This album is about waking up from the nightmare of being in love with someone who can't love you. Musically, it is our most complex project yet. The instrumentation is all done on my piano, and the main vocal tracks were mostly recorded at the same time as the main piano track, with only a few exceptions. I reworked the songs, sometimes dramatically, until they gave me goosebumps. I wanted this album to be nothing short of our best work, and I feel like we succeeded. The beauty of this album is the ultimate reprisal to the brutality of my abuser. This is what I am made of, and it was built on the ashes of all that I once was.

- Joanne Engel

credits

released February 7, 2016

Recorded & produced by Matt & Joanne Engel at
The Explorer Studio in Des Moines, WA.
Vocals/Keyboard/Composition- Joanne Elizabeth Engel.
Music for "Haunting" originally composed by Matt Engel on guitar.
Piano arrangement and lyrics by Joanne Engel.

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Remote Impact Des Moines, Washington

We multiply and divide ourselves.
We add and subtract each other.
We are numbers.
We are meaningless.
Value is a gift we give to each other.
To value is to love.

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